….remember comparing
exam marks after
anxious midterms
96 in english
but
69 in hindi
doublefucked by
first language essays
learnt by heart
describing the same days in the same zoos
3 months apart
and yet
failing to
reproduce premchand
the way
i quoted shakespeare
little did i know
i was empires traitor
training to be its hero
yet
stumbling through
gendered tonguetwisters
(who knew that cage bars were female)
that stopped interactions
at bus stations
no fucking wonder
that i took
so many detours
on lines that never went anywhere
but hey – thank god for bollywood
leading me back into conversations
where i could finally
wax poetic
in still foreign but nationalistic
cadences
and yet…..