day 145 (march 13, 2018)

….remember comparing
exam marks after
anxious midterms
96 in english
but
69 in hindi
doublefucked by
first language essays
learnt by heart
describing the same days in the same zoos
3 months apart
and yet
failing to
reproduce premchand
the way
i quoted shakespeare
little did i know
i was empires traitor
training to be its hero
yet
stumbling through
gendered tonguetwisters
(who knew that cage bars were female)
that stopped interactions
at bus stations
no fucking wonder
that i took
so many detours
on lines that never went anywhere
but hey – thank god for bollywood
leading me back into conversations
where i could finally
wax poetic
in still foreign but nationalistic
cadences
and yet…..
day 145 (march 13, 2018)

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